How is your support team?

Do you have one? Are you able to prioritize and delegate when life becomes overwhelming?

Having a child or children on the spectrum is hard, regardless of functional level, social skills, or whatever, it’s hard. Some days just down right suck! As you all know, I am also a parent of an adult that is autistic. When he was first diagnosed at 2, I did not have a support system. I was the only one of my friends to have had a child, autism wasn’t as prevalent as it is today, and my family didn’t get it. I often heard, “Well he’s a boy and boys develop slower than girls.”, and “He doesn’t look autistic.” I was very young, naïve, and uncertain about what I had done wrong to make my child that way. That’s a common theme for caregivers when their child doesn’t have the characteristics you dreamt about. Luckily for me, when Noah was diagnosed I was in college and just starting my occupational therapy program. That’s where I found my support along with the amazing preschool he attended that specialized in children with autism. My sister was also a huge support as she too has a child on the spectrum, so she was able to bring me back to reality when my thinking started to veer off the path forward. Of course, as time moves on, things change. Support systems can increase and decrease. I had gotten to a point where my support system was dwindling. I was working full-time, taking care of two children (basically on my own), and trying to keep a house in order. So, even though I had somewhat of a support system left, I didn’t use it. I didn’t reach out. I was too busy trying to survive on my own. I was burnt out. It was affecting all areas of my life. Now, I have a much greater support system! My team consists of my husband, my sister, and my brother-in-law, I’ve allowed myself a few friends, and my work is tailored to support my scheduling needs. 

So I ask you again, how is your support system? Ever hear the saying, “It takes a village”? It literally does. It’s a team effort and you don’t need to do this alone. Look to family and friends, the right ones will rise up and be there for you. Seek out support groups whether it’s in-person or an online community, they are out there! 

It’s easy to get raveled up in all of this and feel as though we are the only ones that can handle it. So try this. Make a list of those that are there for you in a way big or small. Make a list of all the things that you do on a daily basis and then make a list of those things that you can delegate to a spouse, relative, friend, etc. This may give you a visual as to how effective your support team is or if you need more help. 

Please feel free to reply back if you have other suggestions, feedback, or questions!

We’re in this together!

Pam